Ditching the ‘No Pain, No Gain’ Mentality

23 May

Fitness Doesn't Have to Hurt: Redefining Progress for Real People

You've probably heard it a million times: "No pain, no gain." It's been shouted in gyms, plastered on fitness posters and echoed through countless workout videos. But here's the truth that the fitness industry doesn't want you to know: pain isn't a requirement for progress.

This is especially important for those of us with ADHD, autism, chronic conditions, or just life happening behind the scenes. If you've been caught in the cycle of guilt, injury, or burnout from chasing pain-based workouts, this post is for you.

The Critical Difference Between Discomfort and Danger

Understanding your body's signals is one of the most important skills in fitness, yet it's rarely discussed, especially in neurodivergent circles. Learning to distinguish between productive discomfort and harmful pain can transform your relationship with movement.

an infographic highlighting some things that might be seen as discomfort and danger when it comes to fitness. — The Difference Between Discomfort and Danger

What does discomfort feel like?
Productive discomfort might feel like:
Muscles working and burning during exercise
Manageable breathlessness that improves as you continue
The challenge of pushing through a final rep when your form is still good
What does danger feel like?
Dangerous pain feels like:
Sharp or stabbing sensations, especially in joints
Dizziness, nausea, blurry vision, or sudden fatigue
Overwhelm that leads to shutdown, panic, or emotional dysregulation.

For those of us who've learned to mask or push through everything, recognising when we've gone too far can be particularly challenging. Here's your permission slip: if something feels off, you're allowed to stop. You're allowed to modify. You're allowed to listen to your body, even when everyone else is pushing for "one more round."

Why "Easy" Workouts Are Still Real Workouts

There's a pervasive belief that workouts must be intense to be effective. So that means that if you're not sore the next day, it didn't "count." This mindset has kept countless people trapped in cycles of overexertion and burnout.
I used to believe this too. But honestly, when I am burnt out, anxious, or navigating sensory overwhelm, pushing through makes everything worse. It didn't help me build strength; it helped me build resentment toward movement itself.
Everything changed when I started asking myself: "What kind of movement will help me show up again tomorrow?" Surprisingly, that answer was rarely burpees or high-intensity intervals.

Instead, it was:

Walking for 10 minutes while listening to a favorite podcast
Light dumbbell sessions in the comfort of my home
Stretching on the floor with calming music
Dancing in my kitchen to some favourite songs

Sustainable progress comes from consistency, not punishment. And you're far more likely to be consistent with activities you enjoy. Or, at least, activities you don't dread.

My Turning Point: Choosing Kindness Over Suffering

For years, I believed that pain meant progress. The harder I pushed, the more "serious" I was about getting stronger, leaner, better. But this mentality left me injured, exhausted, and increasingly disconnected from my body.

Here's what I've learned through trial, error, and a lot of self-compassion:

You don't have to suffer to earn your results.
You don't have to be exhausted to feel accomplished.
You don't have to hate every second for it to "count."
My turning point wasn't a dramatic revelation. It was a series of small decisions. Think things like saying "no" to what didn't feel right and "yes" to what helped me reconnect with my body on my own terms. Over time, these choices built real, lasting strength, the kind that builds you up instead of breaking you down.

Considerations for Neurodivergent People

If you're autistic, have ADHD, anxiety, or identify somewhere along the neurodivergent spectrum, traditional fitness advice often misses the mark. Consider these factors:

Sensory challenges like loud music and packed gyms can be overwhelming, making home workouts or quieter spaces more suitable.

Executive function and transitions are difficult, so starting a workout might require more mental energy than the actual exercise.

Emotional regulation can lead to meltdowns, shutdowns, and executive dysfunction affect every aspect of life, including how you approach movement.

Please know this: You're not weak. You're not lazy. You're not broken. You're navigating movement in a world that wasn't designed with your brain in mind. The fact that you're still showing up is incredibly powerful.

Redefining Fitness Success

Movement should be empowering, accessible, and yes, dare I say it, even joyful.

If your current approach to fitness isn't serving these goals, you have the right to change it. Progress isn't always measured in sweat, soreness, or intensity. Sometimes it's measured in how you feel afterward, how consistently you show up, or simply how much more connected you feel to your body.

True fitness is about finding sustainable ways to care for yourself. It's about building a positive relationship with movement that enhances your life rather than adding stress to it.

Fitness should be about finding strength in who you are.